i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
