Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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