i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I got her a Nickelback box set.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
