I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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