The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My dick has a subreddit
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize