I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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