youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
