Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
