Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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