we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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