Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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