i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
