You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
