Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
