We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
