We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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