apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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