They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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