Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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