I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize