Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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