dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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