help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
