He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
