I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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