I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
