Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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