i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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