You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
