Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
