When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
