I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
