quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
