sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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