the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize