My balls are so social today.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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