My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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