So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
