I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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