her vagine was all disorganized.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
