i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
