if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
