Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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