You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
