remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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