come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
