i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize