my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
