Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
