I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
