I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
