I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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