Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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