I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just gift wrapped bread.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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