i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
