is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
