dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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