i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize