who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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