the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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