Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
