i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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