i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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