There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
