Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
