yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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