someone threw a dead crab at me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
