Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
