We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
