I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
