last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
