What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
