He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
